Sunday, July 10, 2011

On the edge

I wanna know:

Who we are now.

If you share my thirst for being real and not habitual.

I wanna know if friendship, laughter and deep intimacy are still somewhere on the menu and the sex that goes along but doesn’t come without

Whether we still have sufficient guts, love, or compassion to tell the truths that came so easily once, but that now could send it all tumbling like a house of cards

Knowing that whether or not we survive the listening,

The only certainty is that wounds don’t heal in the silence we retreat to for safety.

I wanna know

What lives underneath the layers of “us”

what it might feel like to be celebrating what we now diplomatically ignore

about the different needs and desires where your heart protect its’ own secret reasons and so does mine.

I wanna know

what would make either of us ecstatically happy and whether we still share a vision for making that happen

I wanna know where in us individually lies the seed of self-redemption which if nurtured would grow us into joyful expressions of life renewed and to hell with partners and parents dutifully resigned.

I wanna know my heart’s desire- know your's- know if our marriage serves or hinders

yes or no or both.

Know if what gets us through the times when I’m sure its over can still be rightfully be called courage?

Or if we're hanging on how come?

I wanna know if we still love us

Not because we once said we always would-

But because we choose to do so now.

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